Ya Want Fries With That?
by gerrys giant green grassmonkey
Summary: Gohan is forced to get a job, thanks to Chichi and Bulma. When Videl finds out, she decides that working with him will help her find out what he’s hiding. This is all about his horrid time at the Mc Arby’s King (w/ Videl) and the Z-crew's evilness to
1. Bulma had something to do with this

A/N: Good day, one and all! It is I- the author of "To Kill Gohan! The Freakishly Unsubtle Villains!" I'm back with a vengeance but this time I plan on polishing my unpolished writing skills- i.e.: I'm going to attempt to put a small amount of sanity in this story, while still being hilariously cutting. 

Hee hee.

I'll also try to make chapters longer (you'll have to remind me though!)

Onwards and Chocks Away! Tally Ho and Let's go!

Lalala

I don't own DBZ blah blah blah.

**Ya Want Fries With That?**

****

****

Chichi was humming to herself, while making breakfast for her two sons and husband (1) on a quiet Monday morning in the 439-mountain area. She had just spoken to Bulma and she was excited about the plan they had come up with. She smiled as she heard her oldest son lumber down the stairs of their small home in his usual fashion.

"Hey Mom," Gohan said happily. "Would it be okay if you were to give me $20? I'm going to the movies with some friends tonight."

"No Gohan, that's not okay," Chichi told the young saiyan. 

"Huh? Why not?"

Chichi's grin grew. "Because."

"Uh, okay. I'll just go ask dad."

"No you won't."

"Alright, I'll ask-"

"Bulma wont be giving you any money either," the young mother said, almost gleefully. 

Gohan nodded obediently. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen for a minute or two, and then finally said, "Who's going to give me money then?"

At this, Chichi fell over. _He's beginning to act scarily like Goku._ "I see your hair is cutting off the blood flow to your brain."

"Huh?"

"You're not getting any money!" Chichi cried impatiently. 

"What? Why not?" 

"Gohan, Bulma and I have talked it over. We've decided that it's time for you to GET A JOB!"

"Oh." Gohan's face fell. 

"It's a great way to teach responsibility with money, make some friends and it'll look great on your college applications. (2)"

"…"

"Orange Star has a great guidance program that helps connect the students with some of the community's businesses. They'll be sure to find you a job!" Chichi exclaimed happily, sounding like she'd just rolled out of the school's brochure. "So! Eat your breakfast, don't forget your lunch, go out there and get a job… Or else!"

~

"So Gohan, are you still coming tonight?" Sharpener asked, as soon as Gohan sat down. 

"Nope, sorry. I'm flat broke and my mom won't cough up a dime. She's demanded that I get a job immediately."

"Tough break," Eraza sympathized. (3)

"I know! And it doesn't help that I practically have two moms! I swear to Dende… Bulma had something to do with this." Gohan declared. 

Sharpener and Eraza nodded along, but looked up when Satan Videl sat down in between them. "Hey." She grumbled, sounding angry. 

"What's wrong with you?" Sharpener asked smoothly. 

Ignoring his usual flirting, Videl explained, "That stupid Saiyaman showed up during a robbery this morning. It's bad enough that he's so strong but does he have to rub it in my face?"

Gohan's memory flashed back to the seemingly daily robbery. Videl, as usual, had not enjoyed his company. "What do you mean by, 'rub it in your face'?" Gohan questioned.

"Well, it's cool that he risks himself to help people and all, but… well… It's like he's mocking me. Saiyaman makes it look like my work is boring and almost too easy for him. He doesn't seem to appreciate the fact that I've put most of my life into becoming this strong!" The raven-haired girl ranted. 

Guilt came over Gohan, but his pride soon pushed_ that _emotion aside and he persisted. "Well, don't you appreciate _his_ effort and strength? I mean _his _powers probably didn't pop up overnight!"

"Yeah but he's always laughing-"

"What's wrong with laughing? Santa laughs all the time and nobody hates him… Except for my friend Vegeta, but that's Vegeta…" Gohan was beginning to ramble, like he always did when he was holding back anger.

"Santa doesn't _laugh_, he uh, 'Ho's." The teenaged Saiyan raised an eyebrow. He was about to make a point, but Videl continued. "Why does it matter to you so much anyway? Why do you care about the Saiya-Geek?" Gohan was, as usual, acting suspicious.

He really would have replied, but the teacher told the class to shut up so he could start the "gosh dang lesson" and within five minutes, the class sank into its usual torpor. 

~

At lunch, instead of heading to the cafeteria, Gohan trudged towards the office of his assigned guidance councilor. When he reached the door, the teenager knocked lightly. "Come in!" A female voice called. He opened the door and was greeted by the councilor. She looked to be about 45, with gray streaks in her hair. But sadly, like so many other adults, she was attempting to look "hip" and "groovy" by wearing clothes that were too small and made for girls far younger than herself. "Good afternoon!" She greeted, cheerfullyl enough.

"Hey." Gohan said, following her gesture to sit down. "I'm here to talk about-"

"Yes, I know. I spoke on the phone with your father this morning."

_Dad? Why on Earth would he have called? I guess mom's really into this whole "job" deal. She must have forced dad to because she was too busy._ Gohan nodded along.

"So, why do you think you want this?"

"Well, it was really all my mother's idea. And her friend's."

The woman wrote something on the notepad in front of her. "Yes… Your mother… I see… And what is her "friend" like?"

Gohan blinked, confused but he answered. "Well, she's kind of scary. She's talkative and bossy, but really smart. She's average height and has long- no wait. She cut it. Again. She has short blue hair and um, blue eyes. She's married to Vegeta and has a son, Trunks a.k.a. demon child number one and"

He was cut off again by the middle aged human. "You know, I think you need to go see a trained professional about this. A psychologist will probably be able to help you with your 'issues'. I think you really need to learn to accept that your pet won't be able to turn human no matter what. I'm pretty sure a psychologist can help you realize that your mother's not going to be able to come out of prison for a long time."

"What are you talking about? My mom's not in jail!" Gohan protested.

"Denial isn't healthy, Lloyd. You're really going to need some help."

"What the hell are you going on about now? I'm Gohan! Not 'Lloyd'! G-O-H-A-N!"

The adult blinked. "Oops. I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else! Tee hee." The Sayain groaned and slapped his hand over his eyes. The guidance councilor picked up a file on her desk and handed it to him. "You're looking for a job, aren't you?" Gohan nodded. "Well, your _mother_ called me and I've set it all up! You're going to work for a local fast-food chain called McArby's King!"

Gohan's face lit up. "Food?" 

Gohan listened for five more minutes as the woman explained where his job was, what he'd be doing and so on, so fourth. It didn't really matter though. All he cared about what his free food. When he walked out of the office, the secretary said to a freshman, "There you go Lloyd! Miss. Appletot will see you now!"

END CHAPTER ONE!! Short yes, but I'm tired! I promise I'll get a chapter up tomorrow. Well, If I'm motivated! Review please! And don't flame because you're really just wasting my time and yours.

(1) Goku's alive in this one. Please don't ask why. I don't know. I guess it's because it's all in the plot to make this funnier.

(2) That was a direct quote coming from my mother.

(3) I'm not making Sharpener and Eraza dumb blondes. They're not THAT bad and I'm really sick of all the blonde jokes! BARBIE POWER, YA HEAR? Well, I don't really like Barbie but still…

I wrote this entire chapter with the song "STOP" by the Spice Girls on repeat. It's my inspiration. All the time. How sad is that?


	2. Enter Twink, in all his yellow glory

A/N: I OWN NOTHING

Ya Want Fries With That?

       After lunch, Gohan walked into his Language Arts Class with a dazed, happy, dopey grin on his face. Obviously the thoughts of working in a food joint were still on his mind. Emphasis on "food". He sat down next to Eraza as usual and when the girl said "hi", he didn't seem to notice. Finally, Eraza became frustrated.

       "Gohan, you adorable fool! What's up?!" She shouted, drawing the entire class, including the teacher. Gohan seemed to notice as well. 

       "Eraza! Shut your mouth! I'm trying to teach a class!" the cranky teacher yelled in response. 

       "Sorry 'Raz," Gohan apologized. "I was just thinking about the job."

       "Yeah. That's what I wanted to ask you about. Where do you work?"

       "Uh, The Mc Arby's King."

       Videl's ears perked up. _Hmm… This is great! I could work there with Gohan and finally find out what he's hiding. Saiyaman can be put on hold for a while. _"So Gohan," she said casually, "Do you know if there are any other openings there?"

       "I'm pretty sure. Why?"

       "Well, I was thinking of getting a job…"

       Sharpener raised an eyebrow. "Why? You've got tons of money already. Plus your volunteer work."

       A look of panic crossed Videl's face but she quickly hid it. "Not that it's any of your business, Sharpener, but I need uh, some more extra-currics for my college applications." _Oh yeah. I am the Queen. _

_       Liar, _Eraza thought. _I know she likes Gohan. She's only in it to spend more time with him._

_       Obviously she wants to serve me food for practice when she marries me, _Sharpener thought wrongly.

_       Mmmmm… Food…_

~

After school, instead of her usual Gohan-stalking, Videl wandered over to the office of Miss. Appletot. After she had received her desired assignment, the teenager walked out with a smirk on her face and a theory as to why Miss. Appletot was still a 'Miss'. 

~

500 miles away, Gohan landed on the lawn of the Son home, but soon took off to dodge Goten's daily tackle. "Hey squirt!"

"Hiya Gohan! Whad'ya doa skoo?" Goten said, without bothering to articulate. 

"Nothing much. Mom made me get a job and a staff member thought I was named Lloyd."

"Oh. Wanna come spar with me?"

"Nope," Goku said as he approached. "He's wanted in the kitchen."

Gohan nodded and went inside to find his mother and Bulma sitting at the table, gossiping. "Mom? Bulma? You need something?"

The pair looked up. "Yes, honey. We wanted to ask you about your new job!" Bulma gushed. 

"Yeah! When do you start? Do you know anybody there? What's' it called?" Chichi demanded. 

Gohan rolled his eyes and sat down at the table and discussed his new position with his 'mothers'.

~

That night was pretty uneventful. Bulma went home after dinner to make sure that Vegeta hadn't blown anything up and she took Goten with her, so he could keep Trunks busy. After a late-night spar with his father, Gohan went upstairs, did his homework, stepped on several of Goten's toys and went to sleep. 

The entire school day passed normally and at three P.M., the oldest "spawn of Kakarrott" headed over to the Mc Arby's King with Videl in tow. When the pair arrived, the manager immediately greeted them, in all his yellow glory. He was literally dressed, from head-to-toe, in neon yellow. Except for his leopard-print shoes, which looked like they had been stolen right out of Ryan Stiles's closet. "Hello! Hello! Welcome to the Mc Arby's King! I'm your new boss, Mr. Johnson, but you can call me 'Twink'! Now come along you two, there is much work to be done so I won't have time to learn your names." Twink said, barely taking time to breathe. He motioned for them to follow him behind the _orange _counter. 

In the back, there were many teenagers dressed the same way as 'Twink'. "Welcome to your workplace!" he said.

"I think he means 'welcome to hell'." Gohan whispered to Videl, who snorted. Twink continued to rave on about all the 'exciting' jobs there were to be done. But that wasn't important. The only thing that Gohan cared about was the free food.

Or so he thought. "Due to budget cuts on this store, we have decided to out-law any discounts on food for staff members. And you're only allowed to eat on your own time! After all, we don't want you to get paid for nothing!" Twink declared enthusiastically. 

       Videl sighed and looked over at Gohan, who was devastated. "Whawhawhawha? Me no food? Urmph. Oh Dende."

       Normally, Videl would find this amusing. But one of the things that caused her suspicion towards Gohan was his appetite. She was hoping to study his eating habits here. She decided to help him out. "But Britney Spears get's paid for nothing!"

       Twink didn't notice her protest and continued to explain their duties. When he was finally finished, he handed each of them a box, containing their uniforms and a rulebook. _It's a frigging store. They need a book for this? _Videl thought. She glanced over at her 'friend', who was beginning to recover. She could have sworn he'd uttered a complete sentence. 

The two teens were directed to the washrooms, so they could change and clean up. Gohan's worst fears were confirmed when he looked in the mirror. "I look like a bee," he told Videl, who didn't look exactly like a happy camper herself. 

They left the bathrooms and walked back behind the counter to find that a girl who looked like she was 14 had replaced Twink. She smiled at them, flashing her pink colored braces and twirled her brown pigtails with her index finger. This did not bode well for our young friends.

END CHAPTER TWO.

Like? REVIEW!!


	3. Kill Me Now

A/N: I have raised the rating to PG-13! Why? Because I've got a lot of this story planned out in my head and the only way some of the funnies are going to work are if I put in a bit of um, bad language. I don't normally like using tons of profanities and I'll avoid abusing but "Darn You" doesn't really have the same _je ne sais quoi_. I have this really cool idea from a movie I saw about 5 years ago. That is all. Love you! Enjoy the chapter! J

****

Ya Want Fries With That? 

       The young girl smiled once again. "Hi! My name's Wink!" This is when the same phrase passed through both Gohan and Videl's minds. _Kill me now. _"You've already met my dad, Twink. I'm supposed to assign you two your roles." The pair nodded and then Wink turned her attention towards Gohan. "Hey! You're cute! You get to be one of the Fries-and-Burger-guys. You'll be cooking Fries and Burgers! Tee hee."

       "Ha. Ha. Ha," Gohan said in a monotone voice.

       "You'll be working with Claude." She pointed towards a short guy who wore very large glasses, suspenders and looked to be about his age. Gohan trudged towards him. Wink then looked at Videl. "And you, girlfriend, will be working at the register with me! Won't that be, like, totally neat?!"

       "Fun." Videl's thoughts weren't really on the job though. She was wondering which would be the best way to rip Wink's throat out.

       ~

       Meanwhile, Gohan was learning about how to grill hamburgers and fries. He decided that it was best he wasn't able to eat on the job. After watching Claude dunk the fries into a vat of oil, Bulma's cooking looked world-class. Another downside to working at the Mc Arby's King was that his partner really lived up to his name. Claude the Clod. The moron insisted that Gohan wear a headset. "It's important that you can hear me clearly" _I don't want to hear you at all, actually. _"This grease can sort of clog up your ears, but other than that, it's great!" Claude the Clod said while grinning so wide he popped one of his zits.  Gohan forced himself to smile back meekly.

       ~ 

       Up front, Videl was having an equally miserable time. Wink had this horrible habit of saying 'like' between each word and it didn't help that she was talking about having sleepover parties together. According to Wink, daddy-Twink was great at Charades.  And everything else. But after the girl had finished telling Videl all about her dad's uncanny ability to roast a marshmallow to perfection, she began to tell Videl about her great new job as cashier. "So, like, repeat after me; Hi! Like, Welcome to Satan City's Mc Arby's King! My name's Wink! What would you like me to like, Mc Make you today?"

       "There is not a shot in hell that I'll ever say that." 

       Wink gasped. "Videl! You like, swore! That's totally bad!"

       "Hell is not a swear."

       "You said it again!"

       At this point Videl gave in. Sort of. She could feel a migraine coming on and the sooner she got Wink to shut up, the soon she could bother Gohan about his secrets. " Hey. Welcome to Satan City's Mc Whatsit Thing. I'm Videl. What d'ya want?" 

Videl smirked as Wink fainted. 

~ 

A few hours later, Gohan and Videl had completed their training and were now working. Videl was having a decent time until a group of guys walked up to the counter. Without waiting for Videl to say anything, the male who was obviously the 'leader' said, "Hey baby. I'd like ten Mc. Cheese Burgers and a side order of you." _Pathetic. The oldest trick in the book. _Exercising every last ounce of will-power she had, Videl ignored him and punched in his order.

~ 

The guy's order went through to Claude the Clod who SHOUTED into his headset, "Ten Mc. Cheese Burgers!" Gohan, who was only two feet away jumped at the sound. This guy was too loud for a granny's ears. 

"What the hell is your problem? I'm RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" Gohan screamed, loudly enough for the whole store to hear.

Claude the Clod turned to face Gohan. "You know, it's rude to yell." 

Gohan swore and then went to work, placing the dead, ground cow onto the grill and watching as the ten thick patties of dead animal cooked in their own fat. (1)

~

At 8:00 PM, Videl and Gohan finally were able to leave the Mc Arby's King. They were both fuming. Videl was angry because she hadn't had time to pump Gohan for information and Gohan was irritated that his partner had the IQ of a log. 

They went their separate ways, and Gohan flew home at top speed. When he landed at home, his father greeted him. "Hi there Gohan! How was work?"

Gohan didn't even bother answering. He just stormed inside. "Big brother! Do you wanna play outside?"

"Go to hell."

Chichi growled audibly from the kitchen. "Gohan! How dare you talk that way to your little brother? You're supposed to be a good example! This is a critical stage in Goten's development and-" Gohan shot his mother a look to shut her up and then went upstairs and slammed the door to Goten and his bedroom. Needless to say, Goten slept with his parents that night.

END CHAPTER THREE. It's a bit short but I'm really tired and my cat won't leave me alone. Review please.

1- Sorry for the visual there. It's just that I got chased by an entire herd of cows when I was 12 and I haven't liked them since. I even bought a leather jacket just so I could remind myself that there was no need to kill the cows I saw at people's farms, as I had a dead cow back at home in my closet.


	4. The last straw

A/N: Hello. I don't own Dragon Ball Z so don't bother me. Lalalala

Ya Want Fries With That?

       The next morning, Gohan arrived at school as usual (late) and sat down next to his friends. "Hey Gohan."

       "Eugh."

       Eraza giggled. Videl had already informed her about the horrible place that was the Mc Arby's King. However, she didn't say much about Gohan's duties. "What's wrong with you?"

       "Claude the stupid Clod practically made me go deaf. I have very sensitive ears, you know."

       ~

       That afternoon, Videl and Gohan trudged over to their dreaded worksite. The only thing that kept Videl going was the phrase "find out secret". The only reasons Gohan didn't just drop dead were his mother and her wrath. Not to mention Bulma. That last time the young Saiyan pissed her off, he had ended up with short hair. When they walked into the restaurant, they ignored the customers, got changed into their bee-wear and went to work.

       Videl hopped over the counter and landed next to Wink, who had her hair up in a way that could only be described as something one of the Who would have worn in The Grinch. Wink winked at Videl and then piped, "Howdy there, partner!" The daughter of Hercule ignored this and got to work. Her first customer was an elderly lady.

       "Why hello there dearie! You're new here, aren't you? Well that's nice. I got my grandkids in the car so I'll order 4 small Mc Fires, 4 Mc Cokes and 4 Mc Chicken Mc Nuggers."

       Videl punched in her order, while resisting the urge to deck Wink, who was now _trying _to flirt with a guy who looked college-age. Needless to say, the guy was resisting. 

       ~

       "Gohan! Cook up the Nuggers and Fry those Fries!!!" Claude the Clod yelled into his mike, while strutting around the room, pretending to be Mick Jagger.

       "Must. Resist. Urge. Cannot. Kill. GRRRRRRRR." Unfortunately, Clod Jagger was the least of his problems.

       ~

       "Woman! Fetch the brat and I 70 of your shitty little human consummation products know as "burgers," a voice boomed, causing Videl to look up in surprise. 

       "You want 70 burgers?" She stuttered in disbelief. 

       "No. I said the brant **AND I. **And as any pea-brained creature such as yourself should know, that totals at 140. Now move!" 

       Videl frowned as she looked at the man yelling at her. He was quite short, probably only 5' 6" but had rather large muscles. His hair was quite bizarre, black and standing on end and he was wearing a _pink_ shirt and jeans. She looked over at "the brat" who was a young boy- probably only 7 or 8- with lilac colored hair. "Listen buddy, the name's Videl, and if you DARE to call me 'woman' one more time I swear to God I'll-" She was interrupted by Wink's squeals. 

       "Ooooh! Look at you! You're such a cutie!" The younger girl launched herself at the young boy (er, brat). The child stepped back in disgust. 

       "Dad? Do you think mom will get mad at me if I get rid of her?"

       "Sadly, the woman will probably end up blaming me so don't try it. I don't feel like sleeping on the couch tonight."

       Videl giggled and then typed in his order. 

       ~

       "Zounds! This is incredible!" Claude the Clod screamed, causing Gohan to yell about his 'poor ears'.

       "What the hell?"

       "This man just ordered over one hundred hamburgers! How could he possibly manage to eat so much?"

       Gohan gulped. He threw himself into the main area and sure enough, his worst fears were confirmed. "Vegeta! What are _you _doing here?"

       The prince looked over at Gohan confused, but realization soon hit him. "What do you mean, boy? What are you doing in this blasted facility? And what the hell are you wearing?"

       "I work here. No thanks to your mate."

       Vegeta smirked. "Well, it looks like for once, the woman did something right." The older Saiyan paused and then barked, "Well, what are you waiting for, cook me my food!"

       Gohan swore in a very unpleasant way and then went to work, making sure to over-salt each burger. 

       ~ LATER

       "One LARGE order of Mc Fries!" Claude the Clod screamed, as usual. _That does it. This guy's going down. _Gohan was very pissed off. He growled loudly before hurling himself at the Clod, pinning him to the ground, then picking him up and throwing him across the room, where Claude the Clod smashed into several trays before collapsing in a heap. Everyone else in the kitchen, unaware that it was Gohan's doing, screamed and ran over to Clod to see if he was alright.

       ~*~*~*TWO DAYS LATER

       "We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our loving Friend, Claude Jones, who died in a freak-tray accident…" The priest moaned on and on about what a great person the Clod was and how much he'd be missed. Everyone from the Mc Arby's King had been given the day off and most of the employees were there. Since Gohan now had no one to work with Twink had set to work, and had apparently hired a new partner for Gohan. Videl was at the funeral, furrowing her brow. _Gohan. I'm watching you. _

       END CHAPTER FOUR.

       You know, I almost didn't bother updating. I was very pre-occupied playing every Tomb Raider game I own (which is every single one) and then I looked at the clock. Oh! It's 10:00 PM! lalalala


	5. How do I loathe thee?

A/N: I'm super sorry for the delay! Oh, god, I'm so sorry! The thing is that my computer broke down. Completely. It was terrible. I didn't lay eyes on tombraider.com for weeks! Sorry again. 

Disclaimer: I disclaim er…

Ya Want Fries With That?

The next day at work could only be described as followed: The beginning of the end. Gohan walked into work in a relatively good mood. After all, it could only get better, now that Claude the Clod was gone. 

Boy, was he wrong. You see, dear reader, like many Gohan-torture fics, things tend to go straight downhill from the moment the story starts. You've been warned.

Once he got into his uniform, Gohan hopped over the (still orange) counter and lolled into the kitchen. Which was when he first laid eyes on **him**. The moron looked to be about 18, with longish, curly blonde hair and very large blue eyes. He looked absolutely divine in his uniform, almost as good as Gohan. Sadly, since Gohan's level of confidence was about the size of a pea, he considered this man to be far better looking than himself. The guy had a look in his eyes that said four things:

1- I'm too sexy for this planet.

2- Come no ladies, you know you want me.

3- I'm interested in things, making me an interesting person. It adds to my 'mojo'.

4- I have to go to the bathroom. So I can look at myself in the mirror. 

Twink was next to the guy, wearing his very loud shoes. His very loud outfit did not compliment this. "Hello, son! I've found a new work-buddy for you! Meet him. Goodbye." Twink left a very stunned Gohan to get acquainted with his new partner. Or "work-buddy".

"Uh, Hi. I'm Gohan."

The other teenager stared at the Saiyan for a minute before saying, in a very smooth and husky voice, "I'm Erato. I'm named after the muse of Erotic Poetry."

_Lovely. Hey… wait a second. _"Aren't muses supposed to be women?"

Erato looked slightly miffed, but he collected himself and then answered. "Well at least I'm not named after fried… HELLO!" Videl had just stormed in, late. She ignored the guy's greeting and pushed her way over to the register. This didn't faze our new friend, however. He skipped over towards the girl, but not before stopping to look at his reflection in the stainless steal oven. Erato approached Videl, as he said in a singsong voice, "I am stunned. For I have never seen such beauty. Could this be love? Yes, my darling, it is."

Videl, who was already in a bad mood, turned to face the culprit of the tacky lines. "I don't believe in love at first sight, buddy. Go back to work."

"But, my love! Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"

"Go to hell. Say hi to the devil and tell him I'll see him there soon."

"But-"

"Silence!"

"Ah, yes, silence. Great joys, like grief's, are silent."

Why is he speaking like he lives in a library? Well, I guess I'll fight fire with fire. Time to warm up the trusty brain. If I can find it. Where's Gohan when you need him? Oh yeah. Right over there. Uh, let's see… Don't keep him waiting too long- after all, "silence gives consent." Oh! Progress! Think!!!! Hey! I know! Pick me, Alex! What is John Selden?

"Wise men say nothing in dangerous times," she retorted, slightly late, but effectively still the same. Luckily, this message seemed to sink in past Erato's hairspray, so he left. For a while. _Hahahahaha. A smirk-worthy moment! Oh yes. I'm da man! Er, woman. _

Meanwhile, back at the grill, Gohan was seething. _Damn muse. Stealing my thunder. This means war!!!! Or wait. Why the hell do I care? Then again, why the hell should I care why I care? Videl is mine. I admit it. I WILL NOT LOOSE!!! _Gohan's train of thought was interrupted when Erato came up to him, smirking. He leaned over and whispered something in Gohan's ear.

"Good luck- you'll need it."

Gohan's eye began twitching like Vegeta's, when he was really agitated. _Oh how to I loathe thee? Let me count the ways… One, you're better looking. Two, you're way better mannered. Three, you're a flippin' chick magnet. Four, you've got those damn lines. That stupid poetry crap. Oh Dende. I can't win. I need help._ So, before anyone else pissed him off, Gohan flew out the door and zoomed over to his house to get help from the only person he could think of…

~ 

"Hey there Gohan! How's it going? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Gohan's father asked him cheerfully.

"Yes. But I need your help." The younger Saiyan said simply.

"Okay! What do you need?"

"I need to find a way to make this girl like me more than some other guy."

Goku blinked. "I guess I could help you with that! But I'll need some assistance. Hang on- I need to make a few calls." Gohan nodded as his father dashed inside

20 minutes later, Goku's "assistants" arrived. The teenaged Saiyan groaned as he saw the three people he had invited…

A/N: hahahahaha cliffy!!! I've always wanted to do that cause everyone on ff.net does that to me!!! Hahahaha revenge is sweet. 


	6. It's as if parents TRY to ruin their kid...

A/N: Howdy! I'm here again! Happy Days! There are a few things I'd like to say, before I get started:

1- Sorry again for the delay

2- Has anyone noticed the pun in the name "Mc Arby's King"? Anyone?

3- I'd like to congratulate the "Bilingual Porcupine" on his/her excellent name.

Ya Want Fries With That?

"Hey Gohan! What's up?" Yaumcha called to his young friend. 

"Wazzup, my man?" Master Roshi exclaimed, trying to "get with it".

"Humph. Listen, boy: the only reason I'm here is to watch the humiliation. Not because I enjoy helping you and your baka-father," the elderly (hee hee) Saiyan prince said, while somehow managing to keep his ever-present smirk intact.

"That's nice, Veggie. But while we're giving out warnings, I must beg you not to tell Bulma about this. She'll get all hyper and weird and then call Chichi and then it'll be a duet of "my baby's all grown up!!!" and a bunch of crying fits," Goku explained, in an amazingly logical tone, which (coincidentally???) was the same tone he used with Freeza.  

Meanwhile, back in Gohan's twilight land, life was not happy. _Yaumcha I can understand. Vegeta? Err, well, he has Bulma so he can't be ALL that un-romantic… But Roshi? Please! The geezer can't get a date to save his life! _ "Well Gohan! Why don't you tell us the problem?" Goku asked cheerfully.

"Alright… Well there's this girl in my class, who also works with me. She's out to find out what I'm hiding and she's really crazy and she's a cross between Mom and Vegeta. She's super pretty too. Uh, there's this new guy at work who's like, some sort of Greek God- he's super good looking and romantic and crap and now I don't stand a chance. Plus, if I kill him, everyone will get suspicious 'cause I already offed Claude the Clod."

Yaumcha smiled. He knew _exactly _what Gohan was going though. "Well, Gohan, I think it'd be best if you were to just-" 

"Grab the stupid woman and mate with her before he does!" Vegeta advised, interrupting the only man who actually knew what he was talking about. 

"I'm only 17!!!"

"And your point is?" Roshi asked. "If you're not sure of how to handle yourself in the sack, I can sure as hell give you a few pointers! I'm really good with the ladies!!!!"

_Good lord. Who _are _these sick people?_ "Yaumcha? What were you going to say?" Gohan pleaded, hoping for a reasonable answer.

"Well, all you really need to do is-"

"I know! You can COOK for her!!! After all, the best way to a man's heart is though his stomach!" Goku said, rubbing his belly and thinking about dinner.

"Uh, dad? Great plan, but there are two problems: First of all, I can't cook. Second of all, Videl's a woman."

"Hmm…"

"Yaumcha? Your advice is?"

"You just have to-"

"Shut up, human. Just beat the living crap out of this guy, blame it on another set of trays and take the girl for yourself," Vegeta declared, acting as though it was the most common thing to do.

"Why do I even bother?" Yaumcha wailed.

"Violence is not the answer, Veggie-old-pal," Goku piped. 

"You're right! Sex is!" The turtle hermit yelled, scaring away several flocks of birds and a wild goat. 

"NOT EVEN CLOSE, YOU OLD PERV! LISTEN GOHAN, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL! DON'T BOTHER WITH THE FORCING AND THE SCREWING AND THE KILLING, JUST EXPLAIN THAT YOU LIKE HER AND ASK HER OUT! YOU'RE A SUPER-SWEET GUY AND SHE'S PROBABLY DYING TO GO OUT WITH YOU!!!!!" Yaumcha screamed (sorry for the bad netiquette, there), getting annoyed with the other men's antics.

"I though you said no killing? Stupid hypocrite. You just said she's "dying"." Vegeta grumbled. 

"It's a damn figure of speech, you under-grown troll!"

"Tell her how I feel? Hmmm… I never thought of that one", Gohan muttered to himself, while scratching his head. The baseball player sweat-dropped. Obviously, stupidity is hereditary. 

Master Roshi looked thoughtful as well. "Hmmm, maybe that's why I haven't dated successfully…"

Goku grinned stupidly. "Nope! That's because you're a dirty, ugly old man. But Yaumcha might be right! If you explain your feelings, she'll pay more attention to you, and less to the other guy."

Finally, everyone except for Vegeta agreed that telling Videl how he felt was the best thing for Gohan to do. The Prince's plans still involved killing and raping, among other violent such things. And so, everyone went home happy (or grumpy) with a stomach full of Chichi's home cookin' (doesn't that sound like a microwave dinner, or maybe a diner?)

~

The next day, Videl wasn't in school, but according to Eraza, she was just out for a few (forced) press meetings and would be at work that afternoon. And so, when the seemly endless day at the hell-hole, Gohan left for hell-hole number two, armed with enough courage to take on any enemy and a bouquet of lilies. 

A/N: This cliffhanger thing is really fun. **I'll update as soon as I get between 10 and 15 reviews, **depending on how good my mood is. 


	7. To become a Sex Bomb

A/N: hello world. Sorry for the slight delay- I'm being laughed at. I've had the most embarrassing week ever (i.e.: accidentally calling my friends lesbians in religion and being forced to cover it up w/ a rant on gay rights, accidentally falling down the school stairs and onto my ex, making an idiot of myself at a job interview etc…)! Well, whatever- I still have my cat and my, err… shoes. 

_Courage, Gohan! Think Xena!!! _ Gohan told himself as he stormed into his workplace. The look on his face was that of pure determination and his fists were clenched around the bouquet that he held. There was no way anything could go wrong. Gohan had spent countless hours the previous night, mumbling to himself about how he was to go about telling Videl the god-awful truth. Thankfully Goten, Gohan's adorable little brother, was already showing signs of being a lady killer. The seven-year old was full of ideas on how to win Videl's affections. And how to ditch Erato.

So, Gohan got changed and wandered over to the large vats of grease, to find his ach-enemy already in uniform and reading "French For Dummies". The poetry queer looked up from his textbook and smiled. "Good day, little boy."

"Bite me."

"Oh, jealous, are we? The injured lover's hell."

Stupid lines. If I could just… no! No more evil thoughts!!! But then again, a little evil is often necessary for obtaining a great good. Hmmm… "Err, yeah dude. Whatever you say." Gohan felt no need to argue with this buffoon. Videl would be here any minute and then Gohan would win her over. Relaxing a little bit, Gohan placed the flowers on the counter and got to work. ~ 20 minutes later, Videl marched in late and ignored Twink's complaints about her tardiness. I swear to god, if that stupid pansy-boy doesn't leave me alone today… All I can say is that Gohan better not leave me alone again. The young Satan walked over to where Wink was taking orders and began another horrendous day at the Mc Arby's King. I'm going to find out Gohan's secret soon, even if it kills me. 

Meanwhile, over at the grill, Gohan noticed Videl had arrived so he leaned over to pick up his flowers. But they weren't there. They were with Erato, who was rapidly approaching Videl. "Okay, this has gone on long enough! IT'S TIME TO DIE!!!" Gohan screamed, before hurling himself in Erato's direction. The other teen turned around and let out a very high pitched squeak before attempting to run away from the rampaging Saiyan. Gohan threw himself over the counter and began chasing Erato through the restaurant, scaring the living crackers out pf everyone there. But this did not go on long, because Gohan soon caught out young muse and began to rip his arms off. That is, until Twink appeared.

"Put him down right now, boy!!!" Gohan's boss was fuming. "You're in big trouble! I'm sick of your attitude and your antics!" Gohan dropped the guy in fear, while holding back the urge to yell "mommy". The short, yellow man was freakier than Piccolo's singing. "You know what? You're being DEMOTED!"

"Oh Dende."

~

One hour later, Videl held back a laugh as Gohan began cleaning the floor of the restaurant, decked in his new uniform- a yellow jumpsuit, complete with booties and rubber gloves. Yes sir, the Mc Arby's King had a new janitor. A very unhappy janitor, mind you, but a janitor still the same. Actually, if you listened to him really closely, you could hear him swearing in multiple languages. "Merde, Kuso, Damn…" Sadly, his flowers and ego had been destroyed in the 'fight' so he couldn't do anything today.

"Yaumcha was wrong. This isn't going to work. She thinks I'm a total dolt and Erato's fake crying is making me look like a bastard. Maybe Vegeta was right- Violence is the only way. I'm going to go speak with him after work," Gohan mumbled to himself. Little did he know, he wouldn't have to wait that long.

"Talking to yourself is the fist sign of madness, brat," Vegeta declared, not bothering to keep his voice down.

"Then you must have started years ago," Gohan replied, while silently thanking Dende for bringing Vegeta to him. 

"Touché. There's hope for you yet, friend. Come on, take a break and we'll talk love." Vegeta was being oddly nice, but Gohan didn't really care. He could tell when the Prince was being sarcastic, and right now, the man was being as serious as Piccolo. Gohan said down at a table and watched as the older Saiyan sat down in font of him. "I suppose you're wondering why I want to help you." Gohan nodded so Vegeta continued. "You see, when I was your age, I was infatuated with a countess from the planet Pinchbeck. She was everything I liked in a woman- feisty, smart and strong. However, I was in competition for her affections. There was another prince, one far richer and better looking than I. Even though I was a lot stronger, I stood no chance against him."

"Burn."

"Yeah. So as I watched her grow more and more attracted to Eros, I also noticed something else."

"That she wasn't worth the trouble?"

"No- I noticed that she had the secret desires that every woman in this galaxy has."

"Food?"

"No! Deep down, she wanted a man who was dark, handsome, wild and dangerous. So I became that man."

"You're already dangerous."

"Shut up! Anyways, I won her over. Eros' perfection was no match for my sexiness!"

"Cool! What happened, though? Why aren't you still together?" Gohan asked.

"I got sick of her a week later so I ditched her. But that's not the point. The point is, you need to become some sort of Shane West clone."

"There is something wrong with girls."

I'm ending this chapter here, just like my bad week. Review please- it really would make me feel better (and so would a million dollars! Anyone?) 

Well, whatever. Just everyone have a good week and make sure to watch the Buffy season premier this week (yes, I sorta got the idea for this story from it). But you know what really sucks? While the yanks get to watch the new eps on Tuesday, here in Canada we have to wait till Saturday!! Grr!!


	8. The great job switch and supergram!

A/N: Well, it's another fine, freezing cold day here in cow town (ironic. I hate cows and yet I live in Calgary). Well, whatever. Guess what? I won a writing contest for my story! I'm so happy, especially because my creative writing teacher told me the voice I used in the story was immature and non-serious. Duh.

B-CAT! I HAVE A MESSAGE! 

This little contest is very fun! Hahaha. I still really love your story, though. You're pretty crazy and bizarre. Perhaps I'm your long-lost sister? Hmmm… 

Anywho, lets carry on with this wonderful story of mine 

-Jillian The Bold (a.k.a. Grassmonkey)

Ya Want Fries With That?

       "I'm aware that girls are messed up. However, I am not wrong. You must become sexy."

       "Define sexy," Gohan inquired.

       "Uh, Gohan? This is ME we're talking to- remember? I'm just the nimble little Vegeta who was only sexy for a week. Go ask Roshi."

       "Roshi?"

       Vegeta nodded. Obviously, his intelligent streak was ending. "Yup! I think he's seen all those James John movies or something."

       "I think you mean Bond. James Bond."

       "Whatever. I mean that he'll know all about being suave. Hopefully."

But before Gohan could reply, Twink approached the duo of Saiyans. "Mr. Janitor! I thought I told you to WORK! Honestly, you should try to act more like Erato."

"Sorry. I don't do Shakespeare."

"Very funny. Now, my darling little daughter knocked over a drink. Clean it."

Gohan smiled! _Yes! I'll get to talk to Videl, finally! _ He grabbed his trusty mop and frolicked over to where Wink had drowned a friendly old man (you know, the kind with really red noses and cheeks?) in orange soda. Hopping over the counter, Gohan approached Videl. "Hi! How's it going?"

"Well, you don't look like a bee anymore."

"No?"

"Banana."

"Damn."

Videl laughed. _God he's cute. Err, I mean suspicious. _"So how's life in the scrubbing department?"

"Well, we _prefer_ to be called Cleanliness Engineers, but it's great. Lonely without my trusty headset though."

"Yeah. It sounds fun. All I can do is think of you when life gets shitty. But I swear, if I have to deal with one more frantic mom, I'll kill myself."

"CUSTODIAN! GET YOUR BUTT TO WORK!"

       The Saiyan rolled his eyes. "Does this guy know _anyone's _name?"

       "He knows mine!!!" Wink piped enthusiastically. 

       "Top call," Videl groaned. Her headaches were getting worse every day. Meanwhile, Gohan rubbed his ears as he began to mop up all the soda Wink had spilled. 

       As this went on, an elderly old lady approached the counter (what is it with these old people? They're ALWAYS in fast food joints!), using a cane to maneuver herself across the neon green tiles. The object of Gohan's affections noticed this and turned around. "Welcome. Order?" Wink gasped. She still wasn't used to Videl's destruction of the greeting. 

       "Do you folks still carry those wheat grass soups?"

       "Ugh. Sure. Hold on." Videl pressed the order into the cash register, which transferred over to some poor sap in the kitchen. Suddenly, since the fowl odor of dead birds on the lady was rather distasteful, Videl sneezed. 

       The old bird went into action! She whipped a Kleenex out of her sleeve, done over the counter, flipped the lid of her cane, which exposed some crap cough tonic and shoved it down the youngest Satan's throat before she could even blink.

Videl wasn't prepared for this. Spluttering, due to the horrid taste, which reminded her of her father's socks, she threw the old lady off of her. Right in front of her boss. Which was not a good thing to do. "CHICK WITH BLACK HAIR! HOW DARE YOU?" Twink demanded, while running over to pick the super-grandma off the floor. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BAD ATTITUDE! TRADE JOBS WITH THE MOP-BOY!"

"Sweet!" Gohan yelled. 

"Aw, hell."

~

Later on, Gohan was happily plucking away at the keys of the register. This new assignment beat the other two by a long shot. Nobody yelling into the mike and no ruining his soft, supple hands with the cleaning chemicals, which should never be used without gloves when they're corrosive. Yup. Life was grand. And the funniest part was seeing Videl in his old janitor jumpsuit. Since there was only one suit, she was stuck wearing Gohan's old one. And he's like a foot taller than her. Fortunately, Erato had a poetry reading to attend, so he had left work early. The only dark side was Wink, who seemed to be attracted to Gohan. Very badly. 

"So, like, how'd you get such a great butt? Do you like, work out?"

Videl's ears perked up at this, as she swept the floor nearby. "Yeah. I'm into martial arts."

_Ah hah! Martial arts! So is Saiyaman! Progress! I just know he's Saiyaman! They've got the same sexy long legs… Drool. _However, while Videl was mentally ogling Gohan, a disaster lurked nearby…

"Videl! What are you doing? This is servant's work!" Hercule screeched, drawing the attention of the entire facility. 

"Hark!" Twink cried. "It's our savior!!!"

End Chapter

I know it's a wee bit short, but I've got tons of homework. Please review, I've had the hiccup's all day and I'm sure reviews will help.

Speaking of reviews, I have a little contest going. Whoever can spot the most puns in this story will get a special little prize in their inbox (no, it's not a virus). So look through and list as many puns as you can find. Odds are, I probably didn't notice them myself! It's a great way to kill time and put off doing your homework. 


	9. Insert evil laughs

A/N: Lalala. I can't move any muscle in my legs. So stiff from sprinting a total of 2 km yesterday. Eugh. Gurgle…

I just found out I have ADD. Lovely. But that explains a few things…

B-Cat: Yeah, I'm writing to you again. All I can say is you may be winning the war, but it's QUALITY of the reviews- not quantity. So hah. 

Ya Want Fries With That?

"Uh, dad? Go home,"   Videl moaned. However, our hero did not pay attention to this! Hercule stormed up to his daughter and planted his feet firmly in the ground.

"How dare anyone force you to do this kind of work? I won't have it! Where's your boss?" he demanded. Videl pointed pathetically over in Twink's direction, sighing. Once her father got into one of his moods, we wouldn't shut up until he got his way. Knowing this, she just decided it would be best to get it over with.

"WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING!?! MY DAUGHTER IS NOT TO BE A MAID! WHEN SHE GOT THIS JOB, SHE ASSURED ME THAT SHE WOULD BE A CASHIER!"

But, since we all know that Twink is an angry and crazed control freak, he paid no attention to Hercule's rant. "Listen, don't you dare tell me how to run my business! I doubt you have even HALF the brains required to run a fast food joint! Videl THREW an OLD HAG across the gosh-fiddly-darn room!" Actually, Twink was screaming, but capitalizing everything is bad netiquette. I'm so polite. Anyway, the cowering coward quivered under Twink's voice. And large feet. "And now, if you don't mind, it's closing time so GET OUT!!!"

"Egad! I'm leaving, I'm leaving!" the champ grumbled, as he turned on his heel and trudged out, taking the rest of the crowd with him. "But I'll be back tomorrow. Just you wait…"

"Get a job!" Twink yelled after him. Now, naturally, you'd accuse me (Jillian the Bold) of being a hypocrite because at the end of the last chapter, I had Twink say something like 'hark! It's our savior!' and now he's getting pissy in a Flanders way. Well, you see Twink is a very big moron and he admires Hercule just like every blockhead in that universe. But, everyone has these little quirks. Twink's is that he LOVES HIS JOB! Best in the whole world. So, no matter who the hell is dissing it, he goes cranky. Understand? Yes? Good. I am a genius.

Now, because it was closing time, everyone went home, except for Gohan, who had to pick up a few things at the mall so he could execute Operation: Sexy. 

~

The next day at school, everyone was talking about Gohan, who was looking very spiffy. He had actually combed his hair (good god!) and his frightening little vest was no where to be found. Instead he was looking very hip in his groovy Billy Idol tee-shit and leather pants. Drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. When he walked into class ,everyone turned around to check out his new stuff. _Hah. They're buying it! Now, just glide in gracefully_, he thought… just as he slipped on a math book and went flying across the room and into the bottom step of the bleachers. Smooth, eh? The entire group of teenagers, being the brats they are, burst out laughing. _Err, what now? I know! It's time to pull a Hercule! _Gohan jumped up and burst out laughing. "It's a joke! Hahaha," he declared, as crickets sounded in the background. 

But then, Erasa helped him out. "Heh! Good one Gohan!" And the rest of the class joined in, because as I said before, they're all a bunch of blockheads. Seriously. Gohan smirked and STRUTTED up to his seat, receiving many cat-calls and romantic sighs. _This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. What was I thinking? Listening to Vegeta! Oh well, might as well keep it up. _Which is when he winked at a very stunned Videl and glared at Sharpener. 

_Ohmigod! He's hitting on me! I think. Hmmm… Yeah, he is. _Because Videl was such a brave little fighter, she got the nerve to look him in the eye and smile back. A real smile. And those are friggin' rare around this girl. 

_I love you, Vegeta. You're my best friend. _"Hey Videl. What's up?" 

"Nothing much. New look?"

"Err, it's laundry day so my mom uh, let me wear my own clothes." 

"Oh. Okay." 

Gohan smiled at the girl and turned to the teacher, who was now desperately trying to get the attention of her students. "Please, damnit! Can you just listen to me for five minutes??" she wailed. _Sucker._

~

At work that afternoon, Gohan was very happy with his new best friend. Yessir, Veggie was the coolest guy in the world. The plan was really working!! Vegeta's plan!! Videl was wrapped around his well-muscled finger and Sharpener was too afraid to speak all day. It was better than beating Cell! It was so cool though. Videl was acting quite nice around him, and Gohan didn't think it was because of the clothes. You see, the new look was giving him something he didn't have before. Confidence. An actual trust and belief in himself. Gohan's courage around Videl was upped and such things, and now he could defiantly snag Videl for himself. 

Insert evil laugh. But there were just two problems. His uniform. The bee-suit. But it wasn't too big of a deal- after all, Videl was the one in the banana-wear. However, that is only the first problem. The second is the fact that Erato the lady-killer was still here. Gohan knew what he had to do! It was time for action! It was time for suspense! It was time to WIN!!! IT WAS TIME FOR…..

End Chapter 9

A/N: Insert evil laugh. 

I'm not gonna update until I get AT LEAST SEVENTEEN AND A HALF REVIEWS!!! Got it? Good!!!


	10. The Grinch I mean, the Prince who stole ...

A/N: In my room. Raining. Eugh. But I'm still in a good mood. After all, this year on Buffy, Spike's even hotter than usual. Check out that hair! Droooool. Anywho, a few people pointed out in the last chapter that I misspelled shirt and put shit instead. Wow, I can crack people up without even trying! Lalala.

Ya Want Fries With That?

       It was time for him to drop dead. Gohan, that is. Why? Well, I'll tell you. While he was at the cash register, Gohan had a brief chance to look around. And he did not like what he saw.

       There were the usual over-enthusiastic soccer moms, along with her usual troupe of rowdy eight year-old boys. Like always, super-gram was there, along with the friendly old man (red nose, cheeks) and the hoard of high school football players and very blonde (if you know what I mean…) cheerleaders. Also, there was Twink, standing around trying (and failing) to look useful. This was okay. But what was not okay was the fact that every last Z-Fighter was sitting around the room. Vegeta, Bulma, Trunks, Goku, Goten, Chichi, 18, Krillen, Dende, Mr. Popo, Dr. and Mrs. Breifs, Marron, Yaumcha, Tien, Choutzu, Korin, Piccolo, Yajirobe and even 17. They were all there. How sucky is that? Very sucky, that's how. 

       Goku, being the halfwit that he is, noticed Gohan's notice of them, so he waved and shouted, "Hey Gohan! We've come to watch you grovel for a date with Videl!" This was not supposed to happen. The entire gang was just sitting there _laughing _at him. _Oh brilliant, bloody brilliant. I need to start a hit list. It would be a very long one. With lots of nifty drawings and a whole bunch of spiffy ways to kill people. Yay. _

Gohan's thoughts were interrupted when Bulma, Krillen and Chichi approached the counter. "Hey honey!" Bulma exclaimed happily. 

       "What's up, bro?"

       "Ohh! My baby's all grown up! Hmm… I remember what is was like to be in love…" Chichi sighed. 

       "Err, mom? Aren't you still in love? With dad?"

       "Who?" Chichi blinked.

       "Dad!"

       "Oh! Right. Uh, sure." 

       Goku, who heard the entire conversation because Claude the Clod's yelling hadn't damaged his hearing, was not a very happy camper. I mean, diner. "Hey! What the hell, Chichi? We're doing great! Come on, tell me you did not enjoy last night…"

       "Kakarott! Unless you want your elder brat to be even more traumatized and screwed up than he already is, I suggest you shut up!" Vegeta screamed, causing the soccer mom to stop yelling about 'crushing the opponent and eating their brains'. 

       "I'm not screwed up!" Gohan objected. Chichi snorted. "I hate you people. Can't you guys ever just butt out?" 

       "No," Bulma said simply. "Now, I want a coffee."

       Gohan mumbled something impolite about 'the evils of second mothers', but he punched in her order anyway and a few seconds later, Bulma's drink appeared. He shoved it into her perfectly manicured hands, took the twenty-dollar bill she gave him and kept the change. But sadly, I am using the Canadian dollar in this scene, so the extra seventeen dollars could probably only get him about 3 bucks American. Happy days. But his bitter thoughts ended when a goddess- a.k.a. Videl walked into the room, looking like an angry banana. 

       "Hey Gohan! What's up?"

       "Oh, hi Videl!"

       A tidal wave of whispers hit the Z-crew's tables. Several 'ohhhh! She's cute' and 'Gohan doesn't stand a chance' s were heard. His upper brow twitching, Gohan smiled again at Videl and got back to work. The plan was to ask her out (and succeed) right in front of Erato so he would be supremely jealous and then Gohan would smirk at him like he'd never been smirked at before! This is where Gohan did the Mr. Burns laugh, complete with the tappy finger thing. Words can't describe it, although I just did. 

       But this is when Erato made his grand entrance. He swept into the store, and announced his presence in a singsong voice. "Fear not, oh hungry ones! For the amazing Erato has arrived. Videl rolled her eyes, which went unnoticed by Gohan, who was far too busy ripping the hem off his lemon colored shirt. Bulma whirled around to look at the guy.

       "Ooer! You're cute!"

       "Hey!" Vegeta and Gohan exclaimed at the same time while doing synchronized thinking. _Women. They're all a bunch of shallow brats…_

"Oh man," Goku exclaimed. "Videl's never gonna pick Gohan over this guy!"

       "You're not kidding," Krillen laughed. 

       _They're so mean. Why me? _Gohan kneeled down on the floor. He was inches from tears.

_       How could they be so cruel? _Vegeta asked himself. And what happened then…? Well… in Z-land they say, that the Prince's small heart grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, he jumped up on a table and shouted, "You're all pathetic! Gohan is in love with Videl! Can't you see that? Why do you torment him? Don't you love him? Well, if you don't, then I do! Gohan! Go get her!"

       This was a very kind and thoughtful thing of Vegeta to do. It really was. But there was a slight problem. Videl, along with everyone from Japan, Canada and Australia, learned through Vegeta's touching speech that Gohan kinda, sorta liked the Satan child. And that was not a very good thing, or so Gohan thought. 

       A very surprised and shocked Videl squeaked, "Gohan! You like me?" 

       "Err… Uh, whatever gave you that idea?" When in doubt, or in hot water, DENY IT ALL!!!!

       "Hahaha! Nerd boy likes the bitch-chick!" Erato teased. 

       "What? I thought you liked Videl! And were, like in love with her," Gohan howled.

       "No way, dude. She hot and all, but I was only pretending to be infatuated with her and all cause I had to do it got get into a fraternity. I won, by the way."

       "Oh god."

       "That's Dende to you, Mr.!" The young guardian of Earth called. "Don't take my name in vain!"

       "But what about all that poetry and crap?" Gohan persisted.

       "My pals were feeding 'em to me though that rediculess headset. They got them out of the back of the dictionary."

       "Hello? Gohan? I'm still here! Now answer me! DO. YOU. LIKE. ME. OR. NOT?" Videl cried, getting frustrated. 

       "Heh heh. Yeah." 

       "Oh." 

       "…"

       "Well then, do you wanna go to the movies or something tonight?" Videl asked, acting unusually cheerful. 

       "Sure."

       "Kay. Pick me up at eight."

       "Haha! Gohan's got a girlfriend!" Krillen yelled across the room. 

       "Shut up or die, short man," Vegeta ordered. But underneath it all, Vegeta was happy that his pal Gohan had won. It was like he was twenty years younger again. 

       And that was a beautiful thing.

THE END!!!!!

Did everyone here like it? I hope so!!! Please review and request a sequel. I won't write one unless I'm sure that at least THIRTY people want one. That is a large number, but I'm sure-as-hell not going to go through all this effort again for only ten people. 

B-CAT: Right now, I'm winning the race, so I officially win. I don't care what you say. I win so hahaha. Sorry for the rudeness there! J Love ya! Bye!!!


End file.
